martes, 8 de junio de 2010


Dear imaginary friend: Today they have done it again, my classmates have beaten me. I can't stand it! [FUCK] I did nothing! They just call me a freak and rare, and I really don't know why. I love music, love manga, and computer too, and I don't really like paying football. [SO WHAT?] I've tried once, not to be alone in the break, and they ALWAYS forced me to be the goalie. I don't know what is like to score a goal and be hugged by your friends (as a winner). "I don't wanna play this anymore" another reason to hit me, for leaving half a game. I have already lost the desire to joining them, I wanna see their faces as less as possible and I'm late to class. My teachers are tired, always saying I have change [WHAT DO THEY NOW?]; and they have called my parents too. I have always participated in class when teachers asked something (I can pass my exams without studying); but now I can't do that, I'm afraid of the other children. My dad calls me "Mr. Problematic" [IMPOTENCE AND PAIN WILL CANCEL ME, OR MAYBE TAKE A TRAGIC COCKTAIL].

I can`t stand this pressure anymore -You don't have to-. I want to end it all -So ends it early-. I hear voices within me, saying: CAME ON, DO IT.

I'm sorry, but your parents will not understand your suffering, and you know that being sit on that table time will pass slower. I did understand you, and I can also help you, I swear to end it all if you take my advise. Everything begins in the corridors, you will be with your head duck and your hands in your pocket. The other children will exclude you, they just wanna see you crying; they will lock you in the basements in the recess, and all for not being like everyone else. What makes you unique here, also makes you lonely. The teachers only make matter worse, they only makes you get another punch. And everything you do is only another reason to once again attack the target [I MEAN YOU!]. They are laughing, but's not funny for you. Is not that you are inferior, what blinds you is the fear. [WANT TO TEAR APART YOUR VEINS?] Escaping only delay the problems. Look at you! I'm starting feeling sorry for you. Every day you have new bruises of those little thugs.
Keep your ideals and don't be a coward [DON'T GIVE UP]. I know this time lucky is far away from you, but it's not good hiding [YOU MUST FIGHT!]. Have to be strong [LISTEN TO THIS VOICE WHO TALKS TO YOU BEHIND THIS HOOD]. Being respected is complicated and it's your turn. The solution is front the situation; I'm not telling you its gonna be easy, so less pressure. What would the others do if they were in your place? They can't understand what you are. They have perturbed your innocence [YOU KNOW WHAT IS LIKE WHEN YOUR PATIENCE IS GONE]. You must do something now, I know you are tired, and to be honest, I think you have endured enough. I know its on your veins, the encore has poisoned you. This is not what you wanted.

I can`t stand this pressure anymore -You don't have to-. I want to end it all -So ends it early-. I hear voices within me, saying: CAME ON, DO IT!

That day I told myself a lot of times: "DON'T DO IT, THEY ARE GOOD KIDS", but they have pushed me into the void. I got to that point of no returns, were everything is the same, and you feel anger towards your environment. That day I came early to class and in the queue those bastards were mercilessly. I remembered their mouths saying: "BABY" and the impact of their hands on my body. As usual there nobody did nothing. Some started laughing. I swallowed from the floor, resigned but knowing that that day will be all over. [HIT ME MORE, I'M NOT GONNA CRY; I HAVE NO TEARS LEFT, ONLY SICKLY SMILE. YOU ARE GONNA DIE, AND IT'S GONNA BE YOUR TEACHER THE LAST THING YOU WILL HEARD]. A jug of gasoline in my backpack, and much pain and adrenaline on my veins. I got bruised to the bathroom and I waited everyone's into the class. While the janitor was drinking coffee, I stole him the keys of my classroom. I got mine which was on the fourth floor and I closed a door from the outside with stealth. Opened the other and shed the fuel. [SURPRISE!] I give them no time to react. I threw a phosphorus, locked them and started walking. Now I remember their screams, irresistible symphony. Firefighters saved some lives, but many don't bother me again [THE HYSTERICAL TEACHER, RUNNING AWAY FROM THE FIRE, JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW, AND SHE HASN'T WALK AGAIN].
Time has passed, I never got into the school again, not even my house. But this place has it's advantages, nobody mistreats me. Although is all very cool, they give me pills that make me relax. Sometimes I imagine the way to kill a nurse, but I have to control myself. I know that with time, they should liberate me. [I'M SORRY, I SWEAR!] Who I'm kidding?